Legacy of the Fallen -- Rebirth

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Azra Avasara
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Legacy of the Fallen -- Rebirth

Post by Azra Avasara » 2012-03-05 05:37

It was just another in a string of lonely nights on Corellia...nights that had been made lonely through loss of one so cherished, that even days, weeks later, the loss bit at her soul, clawed at it, tore it apart in ways she hadn't dared to ponder. Thessalia Baker--no, Azra Avasara, she had deemed to call herself now--was little more than a complete emotional wreck of a human being, and at this point, certainly nothing near the fearsome, dread-inspiring force of darkness she had been earlier. Emotions were said to be the power of the Dark Side, the sustenance that fueled those who followed and wielded it; in her case, this fuel had degraded into three basic components: grief, sorrow, and hate. The difficulty was that they all focused inward, leaving her exposed to her own misgivings.

Nothing had yet pulled her from the malaise, either. Try as she might, she could only manifest her old self--the loving family woman--for the time she spent with her children, and the galaxy seemed intent on seeing her time with them cut short by things to do and places to be. Fortunately, the droids that her late husband had placed as caretakers were up to the task, which alleviated some of the woman's worry, but the fact that she was often away from her children on some errand or another, especially now, hurt deeper than any knife could. How could it not hurt? This was raw pain, this separation from her own flesh and blood...pain unending. Even as little as only a few months back, she would have been able to take pain like this, and somehow twist it around to help her, to strengthen her. Back then, she would have been able to use this, and almost instantly turn the tables on anyone or anything, use it as a weapon of swift and brutal devastation. Now, however, it was a crippling weakness...the pain, the grief, they weighed her down with their enervating despair.

The silence that reigned in the house was testament to how late in the night it was. In perhaps one of the rarest moments she'd had since returning from Force-only-recalled-what, she'd been able to do something at least somewhat normal, for a mother: tuck her children into bed and sing them off to sleep. That had been hours ago, and she was still awake, meditating on...well...that was just another part of the problem. There was only so much that she could get out of that without it becoming an exercise in futility...and of late, it had been nothing but the same morbid, depressing thing time and time again.

"There is no peace, there is anger." How often had she heard those words before, be it spoken or in the back of her own mind? How often had she read them, only to try and further ponder what they meant? Understanding had come, oddly, with loss. What anger, what rage have I? A madman killed my husband, and died for his sin; yet I foolishly threw away the chance to be with him. I...could have saved him, and I wasn't even there when he died. There is no peace with myself...only anger at the same. What kind of life is that?

"There is no fear, there is power." Fear of what? Loneliness, emptiness? I dread them now...more than ever, because I live them now. Yet power...no. There is no power in this, none to take from it...it takes, instead. It takes, and takes, until nothing remains...and then it steals more.

"There is no death, there is immortality." If any words of the dark code could have brought Azra--brought Thess--from morose sorrow to unbridled rage, these were the words. For a brief instant longer than the others, she meditated on them, and pure rage burned in her soul and boiled in her blood like wildfire left to blaze. Immortality? A pathetic lie, made of wasted dreams. But...no death, hm? No death? Well, then... WHERE IS MY HUSBAND!?

"There is no weakness, there is the Dark Side." ...An emptiness I cannot fill, a vacant hole in my life where my husband should be...could still be, had I been there for him. Is this really the Dark Side? Is this the vaunted 'lack of weakness'? IS IT!?

Shadows and dust...that was the grand culmination of what she felt as she searched the Dark Side, looking for answers that weren't coming, and healing she could neither find nor feel. The meditation continued in this grim, unsavory manner for several long, arduous moments, each one passing longer than the one before, until it finally felt as though it would leave only in madness... ...and then, there was a single voice. She knew it the instant she heard it..light, and delicate, like the sound of the wind on a tranquil day. It seemed only fitting that this was the sound she imagined as she heard the voice....it was the disembodied voice of her late husband, a sound that under these circumstances could bring her to tears. "Thess... Dry your eyes, dear. Why are you crying?" Calmly, she turned to look at the source, her eyes slowly adjusting to what the Force was showing her. When the image of her meditation finally settled...

..."No...No. It's not possible. ..Kyp?" The figure that stood before her was at once the man she yearned to see, and something far worse than her worst nightmares. She didn't doubt that the Dark Side had projected this image, just to torture her...just to rub in the pain. It was as she realized this that she saw the dark cloud surrounding him take shape, a clearer picture forming in the midst of her meditations, albeit one that left many unanswered questions. "What is this? What's going on?"

The image--the tainted-looking spectre--spoke again, the voice sounding different this time, as though the taint had become more manifest. A strange sensation resonated in the Force, echoing in the back of her mind as it spoke. "Nothing's wrong, darling," the wounded, malformed voice said. "You called for me, and so I came. Come with me...it isn't too late..."

"No," Thess responded, almost to the point of screaming. Tears flowed unbidden and unchecked down her cheeks, both in the dream-scape of this meditation, and where she sat outside of it. "No...you're not him. You're not..." Her tone became harsh instantly, and her voice rose to a scream. "YOU'RE NOT HIM!" In a growing blind rage, she lashed out at the spectre, anger searing and threatening to boil over. The image disappeared almost instantly, leaving her alone.

A few minutes passed, more silence, and her meditation again began to wear on, becoming more and more the darkness and silence of the uninterrupted evening storm. Slowly, gradually, peace began to build up in her again, calm and reassuring; just as it became palpable, though, it was once more shattered by the sudden arrival of a voice within her thoughts. This time, however, it was one she hadn't expected...and one that, in all truth, she did not wish to hear. "Have you learned nothing, my apprentice?" she could hear it ask, the sound causing her blood to run cold. The storm grew darker outside her windows, the wind strong enough to rattle windows; in the depths of her meditations, she could feel the anger in her heart begin to swell. "Have you learned nothing from my teachings?"

In a flash, Thess whrled to face the source of the voice, one of her lightsabers immediately moving to her grasp. "Actually, master," she retorted, her voice laced with venom, "I learned quite well. But your teachings have failed...this crucial moment, they offer nothing but despair...absence...hopelessness." Lashing out in her rage, she charged at the spectre of her former master, the saber in her hand flaring to life to strike him down. All it took was one swing...

...and the image was replaced with another, just off in the distance behind her. Sweat began to form on her forehead, and her muscles slowly developed an ache as she struck, swing after swing after swing, her hate fueling her as she continued to lash out fruitlessly. The Dark Side swirled around within her like a maelstrom, and her temper flared hotter and brighter than a supernova, but nothing came of it; every time she struck, one came up in his place.

It wasn't long before another voice joined the madness, this one the best sound she could have expected. Almost immediately, it left her feeling slightly soothed, calmer than the darkness had left her. It was Kyp...and not the dark, twisted voice of the imposter. Hearing it brought a sense of light-hearted joy to her soul, and a feeling of peace and warmth to her heart. The words escaped her at the moment, lost in her thoughts as the pure sound of his voice resonated with her, bringing the rage within her to a calm, peaceful close. Focusing on that calm, she turned to face the spectre of her former master once more, idly twirling the blade as it rested in her grasp. The weapon flared to life brighter than before, her hate vacating her and leaving her touch of the Force completely pure, strengthening her power in it to extents beyond her measure.

As she tore through the image of her former master one last time, the meditation finally ended, and she snapped back to consciousness amidst the tranquil scene of an ending storm. A calm look formed on her face as she slowly stood up, the clouds parting to reveal a bright, clear sky. Calmly, she made for her room, opening the door and looking in for a few seconds before heading over to the night-stand beside the bed. Even looking at the bed brought a slight sting of loneliness to her heart, knowing that the one with whom she shared it was now and forever gone; that, however, was not the reason she drew near. Her attention shifted, briefly, to the datapad near the bed, opened to her copy of a holocron provided by her master...Sith teachings and reflections on the ways of the Dark Side. Eyeing the device, she picked it up, cradling it in one hand...and using the Force to freeze the datapad into a brittle sheet of ice, which she shattered against the top of the nightstand.

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Re: Legacy of the Fallen -- Rebirth

Post by Azra Avasara » 2012-04-19 03:35

The true problem had been how to handle it outwardly. Thess knew that she wasn't going to find it easy trying to be a mother...but now, it was worse. Her husband was gone, and she was crushed by that loss...how was she going to get past it and raise the twins? Could she even look at them without remembering him and breaking down amidst her sorrow? Deplorable as the idea was, she had actually thought about leaving them with someone else, and taking care of matters outside of the Empire. The merest hint of the idea, however, was like anathema to her, and she couldn't bring herself to ponder it for very long without wanting to wretch.

It was largely for that reason that she had decided on something perhaps more drastic, but easier to endure. The Federation was her home...had been since she'd been found on Vandelhelm during an Imperial operation there. It would be her home until her death...and, barring something devastating, it would be home for her children, as well. The darkness itself, however...that had no home with her. She would have to hide that fact, naturally, lest the others in the order begin to get suspicious, and start asking questions that wouldn't have good answers.

A few weeks later, Thess found herself walking the halls of the Presentable, her children at home on Corellia under the careful watch of the two guardian droids. She hated leaving them alone, but she'd volunteered to assist for some sort of crazy operational theater in the Outer Rim for a while, and having them on the warship with her would have been...other than prudent. Even with that, though, she wasn't walking the halls at this moment for the sake of....well....walking the halls. She wanted to meet with someone, and that someone was just coming off of a shift on the ship's bridge. With any luck, they'd meed at the lounge.

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Laurel WinteShrine
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Re: Legacy of the Fallen -- Rebirth

Post by Laurel WinteShrine » 2012-04-27 03:40

Wolfgang had, as politely as possible, explained what had happened to the Dark Jedi's husband, his passing having also deeply affected the High Colonel. He himself seemed distracted, visibly numb from the loss of his good friend, and all Laurel could do was console him to the best of her ability; it had made her feel pathetic.
Even now, as she made her way to the lounge of the Presentable, she could not even fathom how much hurt the woman must have been in over the loss of her spouse. Laurel had brought a brilliant bouquet of orchids with her, hoping that even if she was powerless to do much else it was certainly something.

Laurel certainly wasn't so bold as to ask questions or pry, understanding that the Dark Jedi deserved a conisderable measure of respect at her time of mourning. The Sub-Lieutenant was not sure how her temperament would be this time around, but her mind was quickly transported to that beach, from so long ago: Her sparring partner had lost her temper, and Laurel did not doubt for a second that had Azra not been deterred by Wolfgang, she easily would have killed her. The thought of this gave her a brief moment's hesitation.

Cradling the elegant spray of phalaenopsis to her chest, Laurel placed it onto the table before the Dark Jedi wordlessly as she approached. If anything, Laurel felt that any condolences, no matter how sincere would somehow taint the gesture, though heartfelt. The young noblewoman knew all too well that sentiments such as 'I'm sorry' simply did little in the wake of losing a loved one. The brunette nodded after she had settled herself into the seat across from her, crossing her legs smoothly and placing her hands genteely in her lap.

"Good evening, Azra. I must admit that I am rather surprised to see you here." Laurel had been careful to think a proper honorific beforehand, but decided that perhaps a bit of informality suited the situation better. At the behest of Wolfgang, the two had sparred together on Vandelheim not to long ago, and The Dark Jedi had gifted the young noblewman with a remarkable sword, one that Laurel had come to treasure dearly.

"I have been practicing with the sword you gave to me.. although, I must admit that I've been much too busy to do so recently. But I am very sure that is not the reason why you have summoned me." A flush of rage went through her when she remembered the last time she had used the blade, during the nightmare on Dosuun. Laurel could not let herself indulge in her emotions, not now. Azra would probably pick up on her feelings in an instant, and the thought made Laurel considerably uncomfortable.

The bar droid came around, and at this point the young woman had begun rubbing at the bridge of her nose in irritation. "Two shots of tequila, no salt, but with lime on the side to start, if you please." She flicked a curious glance at Azra, a brief smile lighting her lips. "..And what would you like?"
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Re: Legacy of the Fallen -- Rebirth

Post by Azra Avasara » 2012-04-27 04:29

Sitting at the bar, Azra let out a low, soft sigh. She hadn't needed to reach out too far with the Force to sense the sub-lieutenant's approach, and was secretly pleased to see that she hadn't misjudged the timing of her arriving at the lounge. She had left the junior officer a few minutes to show, and had been rewarded with a punctual arrival. Still, she hadn't been using the Force much beyond sensing whether the woman was there, so she wasn't expecting what came next, and it was perhaps the surprise behind it that made it so...touching. Tentatively, she reached out a hand, grabbing gently at the orchids; her grip was at first unsure, as though expecting the flowers to be wrenched from her clutch at the last second before being crushed underfoot. She honestly hadn't expected any measure of sympathies from anyone--rare had it been since her return to the Empire to find a sympathetic ear from anyone--that the gesture touched her, right into her soul.

It was a sign of how deeply it affected her emotions that her touch began to change the plants immediately, gradually coating them in enough ice to forever petrify them as they were. The chill was a special chill, the frost born of the power her master had once shown her, and seemed to persist despite the temperature settings of the bar, keeping the ice-sheathed orchids perfectly frozen. As though a reflection of their inner beauty, the frozen flowers retained a true depth to their color, the hues reaching through to the outer layer of the ice and coloring it just so. Arching her eyebrow at the change, the Dark Jedi sighed and offered a kind smile. "Thank you," she said, already keenly aware of why they had been given. "They're lovely." Delicately, she placed one of them upon her head, gently tucking it between her head and her right ear. The fact that they had been changed so readily, however, was a serious problem...a lack of control here and there in the lounge was one thing, and she could easily overlook this particular incident, if not for the fact that it could do worse on the battlefield...

...and she had no wishes for a repeat of the Dathomir fiasco.

"I would be careful, though, to assume the nature of this meeting." Calmly, she turned to the bartender, chuckling. "The same, on the rocks...no lime." While the bartender turned to fill their orders, Azra returned her attention to Laurel. "The weapon is a secondary concern to why I wished to speak with you, as you will need it in the time to come. I couldn't help but notice that your beloved isn't out here with us... Perhaps I can help by finishing what he started, this whole 'training' business he chose to drag me into." At the least, she thought to herself, it does mean someone to talk to.

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Re: Legacy of the Fallen -- Rebirth

Post by Laurel WinteShrine » 2012-04-27 17:43

The Sub-Lieutenant had been take aback somewhat by Azra’s reaction to the flowers set before her, though entirely. At best she had been expecting the woman to ignore them, but her display of heartfelt gratitude both warmed and alarmed her, somewhat. She reached out a curious fingertip across the ice that now encased the orchids, still unsure of what to think of the Dark Jedi. As Laurel had noticed before, hers was a soul that seemed awash in pain, but even now she just seemed… wearied of it. The Azra she had met on the beach was a woman that she could have never considered even as a begrudging ally, if never a friend. But now…

Now what? The young woman still held an amicable air, not wanting to jump to conclusions if indeed Azra had sought her for a benevolent cause. How she would define ‘benevolent’ would yet to be seen. She thoughtfully observed the woman as they awaited their drinks, the orchid caught in a wave of midnight behind her ear. Her gaze then flicked back to the ice she had spuriously formed onto the table, from thin air as it were. Indeed, to be able to wield such power…

Azra, if anything, had always made for a polarizing presence to the girl: She had bright eyes of emerald not unlike her own, and long dark hair that fell in a wave of silk over her shoulders, but that was where their similarities ended to her knowledge. She was the mysterious darkness and ebony of winter, whereas Laurel was the auburn and gentle cool of autumn, despite her namesake. Even as beautiful a woman as she was, Azra still held an air of being beleaguered by something, and who could tell who she had been before? Years of torment threatened to make a wraith of anyone, if not visibly then certainly from within. Again, Laurel felt her heart going out to her.

It had taken the passing mention of some form of training to break Laurel from her thoughts, and her attention snapped back onto Azra in an instant. She also registered that her beloved had been mentioned, Wolfgang. “Well as I am sure that you understand, we aren’t conjoined at the hip. I leave him to his devices and he to mine. But training? Whatever for?” She began cautiously, her tone more curious than startled. Laurel wondered if that is what everyone thought of her: She, a weak and feckless noblewoman that always ran behind her beau whenever she needed help. Weakness was the paramount bane to Laurel’s existence, a stain upon her that she wanted to be rid of as soon as possible.

Her emotions began to churn saturnine within her, causing her to sigh in resignation for the time being. Their drinks finally appeared, Laurel taking one of the shots and gingerly biting into a wedge a lime before her nose could wrinkle itself from the strength of the spirit. Pathetic.

It had come to her almost then, a catharsis of sorts; perhaps the only thing she ever could have offered to Azra, that time long ago. Bits and pieces, lilting through her mind as if wings on a breeze.

I would never mean to offend you, and I know that compared to what one as such as yourself is capable of, it would certainly seem laughable for myself to offer anything to you…

…Perhaps you relish in your solitude, perhaps not. I understand that being alone is certainly not the same as being lonely. but should you need a break in such monotony…

...even if only to beat me up a little more, you don‘t have to be lonely.. If ever you so choose.

Was this.. what this was? Laurel smiled gently to herself, kneading her skirt beneath the table before taking the second shot. It ran warm through her like a summer rain, but it was nothing compared to the feelings that had arisen within her, something bright and buoyant. A sliver of hope. Laurel kept her thoughts and mounting questions to herself for the time being. Tact would serve her better here. “What did you have in mind specifically?”
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Re: Legacy of the Fallen -- Rebirth

Post by Azra Avasara » 2012-04-29 02:51

Azra sighed as she looked over at Laurel, downing the first shot of tequila in a flash. It took a great effort to refrain from using the Force at the moment, both in nullifying the drink and reading the other woman's thoughts. One didn't win friends over by appearing omnipotent before them, and reading the sub-lieutenant's mind would have taken the surprise out of it. Plus, she felt she owed her some measure of respect after the beach-side beat-down, and being straight about the situation--avoiding any methods to short-changing it--was her way of showing that respect.

Try as she might to avoid it, though, the merest hint of the day at the beach had already hit her mind, coming to her from Laurel's own mind before she could try blocking out any such reading. Fortunately for her, it was something that she could mask, could bring up as though it were casual conversation; the sub-lieutenant's inquiry had seen to such. "I suppose you knew I'd eventually come calling about what happened back on my homeworld. Let's get it out of the way now, then, and not ruin good company and good drink over what could easily be harsh words. You're strong...but you could be stronger; I can help with that." Calmly, she reached into one pocket, pulling out a small pin: the decorative item was shaped in the style of the Federation emblem, with twin lightsaber blades crossing in front of it in a crimson X. "This badge marks you as a friend of the Omega Order...my personal guest. You won't be allowed near much while using it, but it will get you to the training rooms we use aboard the ship, and there are such rooms on most of the major ships in the fleet. If you ever want to talk without...prying eyes and eager ears, meet me there."

There was a smile on her face as she handed the pin to the sub-lieutenant, and she downed the second shot of the powerful liquid, the smile becoming a little more...casual. "Now, with that settled, I'd like to say that business, in and of itself, is done with, and get down to something a little less formal." Her voice was different now, somehow...a soft, warm 'twang' to it that seemed at odds with the dangerous lethality she usually embodied...something open and friendly in someone that was usually so cold and secluded. "Perhaps I should start with proper introduction. The name's Thessalia. ...Or Thess, if you want to be all friendly-like."

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Re: Legacy of the Fallen -- Rebirth

Post by Laurel WinteShrine » 2012-05-11 23:41

Laurel had found herself absolutely dumbfounded as she observed the pin handed to her, now her turn to be pleasantly surprised over what had been proffered to her. Yet, even more precious, she had given her a name: her real one. Laurel was not sure of the purpose of the woman having an alias otherwise, but tremulous bond had been forged between them, however small it had been when she had chosen to confide in something so private.

The two young women had relaxed somewhat, the Sub-Lieutenant still in awe over how quickly the Dark Jedi had taken the shots without so much as batting an eye, and for the most part didn’t even seem phased by the drink. Laurel had felt the growing warmth of her own drink spread languid through her, her lips coy and spreading into a Cheshire smile as her senses smoothed over into a pleasant buzz, albeit mild. It broadened as the soft purr of a twang colored Thessalia’s speech, Laurel attributing yet another pleasant surprise to the mysterious woman. Laurel herself typically chose to forego the grandiloquence that was stereotypically attributed to the noble classes for fear of sounding too pretentious, but there were times she had to stop herself from naturally speaking in the language of her home, translating quickly within her mind to converse with others in basic.

The mood had become considerably more affable around them, but Laurel still couldn't help asking herself as to why? Why her? Of anybody for a Dark Jedi to bother themself over, why a silly girl she had nearly beat senseless on a beach? For once, she was glad that the tequila had numbed her typical apprehensions when put into a situation she was unsure of, and had even pertly ordered one more shot from the bartender for each of them. “I see. But I must ask you.. why me?”

You're strong...but you could be stronger; I can help with that.

And how desperately she had wanted it.

Her eyes flicked over the pin still pressed into her palm, over the crossed lightsabers; the trademark of those who could wield the Force. She took a breath, her voice light with awe as her thoughts were unexpectedly given form upon her lips. “I wonder, what is it like?”
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Re: Legacy of the Fallen -- Rebirth

Post by Azra Avasara » 2012-05-23 05:09

Thess snickered slightly as she continued to drink, the sound uncharacteristically light and delicate. She could feel the sanguine warmth of the alcohol's slow burn spread through her being, and it took a considerable effort to keep from using the Force to prevent the second feeling. Instead, she embraced the slight buzz that came from the drink's potent kick, giggling a little more as it started to slowly take hold. There was a pleasant feeling to it, more of a clearing of the mind's concerns than anything else. Her movements became a little less graceful, but she was still able to control herself, and the smile on her face became a bit wider.

"Why you?" Thess giggled again. "Because...you're friendly 'nough t' warran' it." There was a rare slur in the woman's voice, some of her words dropping faintly, the changes slight. "Because I don' really 'ave tha' many friends..." And not that many people want to be my friend.. she thought, but didn't add.

It was the other question that had thrown Thess, sobriety slapping her full-force with the meaning of it. Laurel wanted to know what it was like...the Force. Business. Setting the shot glass down, the Dark Jedi carefully refilled it, sighing to herself. "It's...a blessin', an' a curse. You know well 'nough," she continued, this time taking only a slow sip from the glass, "tha' power brin's wit' it a great responsibility. Ain't a soul in this galaxy understan's that more than one of us." She tried smiling, and it looked almost like it could succeed...but just fell short. "My husban' knew it; save for one drunken night, he lived it." A soft, gentle sigh escaped her, and she silently wished that she'd had just a little more tequila right then...enough to pretend that question hadn't ever been asked.

"Beyon' that..." she continued at last, trying her hardest to force the issue from her mind, "it's a source of strength. Th' Force is...it's a friend. It strengthens us, comforts us...asks for dedication an' respec' in return. Give it tha' respec'..." Here, the Dark Jedi offered the slightest hint of a smile again. "...an' it's the mos' powerful thin' ou' there."

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